If you go away

Laying still and waiting in the dark. Yesterday, I thought I saw a smile but that would have been so unlike you. Dreaming of being together knowing it just wouldn't be right. I fear you've left me far behind and would despise all I stand for

but if you go away I know I will die.

I hide from myself everyday. Yet at night the girl in the mirror shrills and keeps me awake. Tells me she has evidence. I yell "What a bitch" then I hang my head in shame. What will she do if I go away?

My feet sink in the ground as I look at her one last time. I hear those same words over and over yet I know its always a mistake to love. Damn you sweet confusion! Shall I wait for you until dawn or should I let go of this chain.

You breathe and pollute my mind with your pathetic lies but I stand by you. I'm tied like a fucking knot unable to unravel. If only I respected the knife and cut myself in two but that would be unreal like a feeling of contentment and joy. Instead I'm rooted like a tree and down on my luck and there's a ringing in my head like a bell of doom.

I turn away but of course you see right through. You firmly hold me and restrict my moves.

Forgive me when I lose. Forgive me and let me drink my last beer.

I'm not ready for this but I've never been ready for anything.

Your ice cold hands glide over my skin and then I am gone

but if you go away I will surely cry

The Drifter (Re-Visited)

A drifter picks up a hitchhiker. They cruise along the highway. The car radio is turned down low. The drifter hums. The hitchhiker is feeling uncomfortable as he fidgets for something to do. He looks at his watch several times before he speaks.

"Hey, thanks for the ride. I'm Jim. Whats your name?"

"Its immaterial." Replies the drifter, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.

"I'm a salesman." Jim continues." What do you do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Jim looks down at his watch again.

"Are you late for something?"

"No. Im just looking. Hey, would you mind turning off that radio, I have an awful headache."

The men travel in silence for the next five minutes.

The drifter speaks. "Have you ever killed someone?"

Jim raisies his voice "What kind of question is that? "

The drifter continues. "If you had to kill someone how would you do it?"

"I couldn't. I..."

The drifter cuts him off. "I said if you had to."

Jim hesitates. "Emm... I'd probably shoot them. Bang Bang." He mimics the actions of a crazed gunman as he chuckles.

"Everyone does that."

"Stab them to death, you know like in Psycho."

"Bull."

"Throw them off a speeding train. That good enough for you?"

"No. And you watch too many movies."

"Hey, I could kick the shit out of them." Jim adds.

"Boring."

Jim chuckles. He's almost enjoying the conversation now. "Okay, I have a good one. If someone had really pissed me off, I'd strap them down to the floor and pour hot motor oil down their throat. Ha.. good eh?"

"You're pathetic." The drifter sneers.

Jim snaps back. "Okay, Mr. good for nothing smart ass, how would you kill someone?"

"You really want to know?"

The journey is interrupted. The car stops.

An hour later, the drifter reaches a filling station. He steps out the car, yawns, stretches and looks up at the night sky. Then he turns and notices a young woman, looking bored, waiting for the next customer to show. As he walks through the door, he receives her with a mocking smile. She smiles back. Then he slides his tongue over his fat lips. The desire is too strong to fight.